… and there’s NOTHING I can do about it! So there!!! 😛
It’s been one of those weeks where I’m constantly taking one step forward and promptly taking it back to square one – one of those, yeah? It hasn’t helped that this week’s been pretty hot and sticky, with or without the sun out. Not the type of weather I enjoy, although there has been the odd cool breeze to make up for it a little.
Things started off on Bank Holiday Monday OKish – I was having the new kitchen dresser delivered between 1230H – 1530H. So I hauled arse off the computer for that period. They came at 1520H. I wasn’t expecting much, and even then I was disappointed (it was one of those T&C deliveries where all they do is dump the furniture and leave you to unwrap it all, with a customer service card to call if it’s damaged to get it taken away again. I wasn’t expecting 2 packages as they allegedly don’t do self-assembly – which I, in my obvious stupidity, thought meant they didn’t do flat pack. Wrong. Well, wrong-ish. It’s a massive piece of furniture over 6 foot tall and about 4 foot wide, which is why it came with a top part and the bottom part – 1 piece per package.
OK, so that’s not so bad, except you had to destroy the packaging to get the darn things out – and if they were damaged then you had to put them back in the sturdy cardboard they came in… Oops! Anyway – that was OK too, ‘cos it’s a really sturdy quality piece of hardwood, so no worries on that score. Except they’d dumped it in the spot I directed them too – on the wrong side. To be fair this wasn’t entirely their fault as neither cardboard box had one of those helpful ‘this way up’ arrows or text… Luckily I’d already sussed what had happened, because I was home alone and there was no way I was touching the boxes until my sister arrived the following day to help me cut my way into the boxes. It would have nice to have done some of the unwrapping straight away though – it really is a beautiful piece of furniture and I wanted to see what it looked like. The next day duly dawned and my sister came over, bearing pasties for lunch – did I mention my sister is a genius, as I’d planned sarnies and/or salad for lunch?! 😀
Anyhoo, we managed to wrestle the base unit (the heaviest one of course) the right way up and, by accident, facing the right way around to ‘slide’ into its rightful place. This is the point at which we both realised there was no way on earth, or in heaven or hell come to that, we could get the top part on top of the bottom part… Also, and more worryingly, there were no slots or little dips on which the top bit would neatly park itself on the bottom bit, so they didn’t part company accidentally. This was because, and I can’t say this enough, the top part was almost as bleedin’ heavy as the bottom part, and so it moving ‘by accident’ was not an option, unless there was significant tectonic activity right at the top of the Richter scale. Not likely, even in NE Cornwall. Ever practical, I simply said ‘what the feck’ and, as both bits weren’t obstructing access to the kitchen, or to other active pieces of furniture, they didn’t need to be put together until I had several people with bigger biceps around the place to shift it. Since then, I’ve also decided that the base ain’t going anywhere at all. And the eventual new flooring can be installed around it, as it’s just too awful to contemplate having to move it again. Ever.
So, feeling a tad sweaty and achy, we went out into the sunny, breezy garden to recover a bit, then repaired indoors for luncheon and the blessed pasties. Which took us, with time to burn, onto the main event for the day, which is what I’d really wanted my sister to come around for. I’d arranged for a free quote from some posh kitchen installers to come over and do stuff to my delapidated old kitchen. At 1500H. We’d just polished off the pasties and were thinking of moving onto the strawberries and sorbet I’d got in especially, as I knew we’d be exhausted with moving all that stuff around, when the door bell rang. This was at 1340H. ‘It’s the postman!’ I said, with some authority. It wasn’t.
‘I hope my office warned you, I might be a little early. I’ve been doing a quote up the road so I’ve been able to fit you in a bit sooner.’ Just as well for him that we’d had the pasties and the living room wasn’t in too much of a state of disarray.
Very nice man. Very nice work surfaces, and doors, and units and door handles. It will go with the new dresser wonderfully as well. The price wasn’t anything like as much as I’d thought, so the deal was done, and today I’ve had the final site survey and installation date booked – mid-August! Like their sales wrangler said – ‘if we could do it straight away, we wouldn’t be very good, would we?’
So, that’s another landmark stage on making the old homestead a lot more homier for me. Problem is, with all the excitement, I’m completely cream-crackered (knackered or completely spent) and the weather ain’t helping! The weather forecast for the weekend sounds more like it – sunny still, but cooler with a bit of wind. I’ll take it anyway, but in the meantime, I’m not up to doing much except an idle bit of surfing for new appliances. A rather nice, swankily expensive fridge-freezer is winging it’s way to me next Monday. Yeah, I know. I’m a glutton for punishment. At least this sales force will fit the damn thing and take away my old fridge, so I won’t have to do any circuit training to get in shape to put it where I want it – and get it working!
At least I do learn – eventually… 😎
So, in case the message hasn’t got through yet, what passes for normal activity on this blog is not an option until next week, because, in the immortal words of Lili Von Schtupp in Blazing Saddles –
I’m so tired…