Where’s that 6 year old when you need ’em?

You know – that little kid who just picks up the latest smart phone having never seen one before and just – uses it without mis-keying once…? ><
Some of you may know that I can kind of blag my way around web design, graphic gimmickry and the ins and outs of uploading industry standard publication files for the print on demand outfits – well let me tell you they’re a complete doddle compared getting a rotten little Adobe ePub file put together. 😦
Oh it’s easy enough when you start out until you discover that all your lovely CSS style sheets (that’s cascading style sheets for FLA-phobes 😉 ) won’t carry forward like you want them to, which is infuriating because mastering this on ‘proper’ publication software is a long and hard enough road without having to lose half of it when you migrate them for use on MOBI for Kindle (and after the performance I had with it I know why it’s called MOBI, ‘cos I really feel like a right dick after 4 hours of banging my head on the keyboard trying to fathom it…) or NOOK or whatever other little hand held demon you’ve got to read books these days. GRRRR!!!!!

So anyway, you THINK you’re there and it all looks as acceptable as it’s going to look in re-flowable text, and the table of content navigation is working as well as it should – then, THEN you have to get the flamin’ thing ‘validated’ before you submit to your POD supplier or Kindle Direct etc, etc, to make sure it’s all reading like it should and then you get your report (I felt like I was doing my O levels again!) with 2 dozens warnings and 1 error, all of which means that the file is going to get thrown back at you by the ‘bots’. Anyway – having gone through this last year with Milele I’m sort of prepared for failure and – get this – actually understand most of what they say is wrong AND how to rig it so I pass next time (or crib by comparing with Milele’s code to see what worked last time, ‘cos it’s been a year and of course I can’t remember what the hell I did right then 😦 ). So off I go and work for another hour or so to do what I have to, to get a thumbs up and then go for another validate – and I fail again – but just 1 error this time and, again I know how to put yet another code tag that’s gone bad right. I go back and redo and get the same error, but this time saying that the information I’ve put back in needs to match an earlier entry on another tag. It even helpfully tells me what the info is – and I’d have been really, really grateful if it hadn’t been the exact same characters and numerals in every respect…

I looked and looked at it on the validation report and they were identical. I went and had a scream and then played an exciting little online game smashing Christmas Tree balls – very thereapeutic. And then I bravely – and I’m talking VC territory here – go back to the original file to compare the offending info on the 2 files. Identical… And then it hit me – the characters and numbers were fine, no mistake. It was the feckin’ space between them that was different! Five hours and the thing that was tripping was an extra hit on the space bar… Did I feel a big prat or what? Anyway – that was the charm. One deleted space between ISBN and 9 and it went through the validator like hot you know what off a shovel 😀

So anyway – I just couldn’t cope with my eventual success and was too emotional to get on with putting it up on Amazon today but it will, come hell or high water go on tomorrow… Except I have an ‘executive’ appointment in Saltash tomorrow for my Patient Group and then have to go to the butchers for Xmas victuals,  so I may have to reschedule this for unforeseen migraines. But, finally, we do have a working, acceptable ePub file for Dreamless Roads and you will be able to get it for Christmas if you have an eReader 😉

I’d feel proud if I wasn’t so knackered… 😛

3 thoughts on “Where’s that 6 year old when you need ’em?

  1. lol – deeply envious of the youth of today angel as you don’t know anything different 😉 The thing for all us ancients is that everything moves about and disappears so quickly which is why paper is still THE King with me because at least it all stays where you put it! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • I still love paperbacks but ebooks are pretty good for reading at night. There’s a handy night mode in ibooks which changes the backgrounf to black and the text to white. It’s brilliant.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. I was probably that 6 year old though. I don’t know coding past the basic HTML though and it sounds like a nightmare. I attempted to make a better attempt on uploading a picture ebook to Smashwords yesterday and ended up making it worse. I had to revert back to normal.

    Can’t wait to read the ebook.

    Liked by 1 person

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